Car..Train…Paper Plane?

The thinnest line in life is the line between love and hate. I can honestly say that I have loved girls. None of them have been the same yet they have each served the same purpose in my life.

The first was just something young…I compare it to a young drivers first car…usually not new…ur not the first owner…sure you love it but the moment you scratch it or the paint chips…or mane even a dent…everything goes south…you don't wash it anymore…you don't take the time to maintain it…you just think that it will always just be there for you when you need it…you go outside to start it up and it doesn't start…you wonder what went wrong…you are crushed because ur first car the one that you thought would be with you through anything…the one who knew about everything…the one that was supposed to always just be there no matter what has quit…what do you do then…? Me…I mean I don't really know what I did…i relied on my friends for a while…using them to have fun…sure a companion was missing from my life but it didn't matter if I just stayed busy and didn't think about my "car". Eventually I was able to move to New York where I could quickly get over it because there were many means of "transportation" no need for that old beat up first "car" anymore.

The second..I compare a lot to the city bus…plain…not the most luxurious mean of transportation…reliable…easy to get to…always there..never out of reach…and always right on time…the bus was like my new thing…it got me to where I needed to be…there were plenty of adventures along the way…it didn't cost me too much and I mean it was a good experience each time I boarded…the bus was willing to taken me anywhere i wanted to go…there was nowhere the bus would not take me…I could go anywhere on the bus…but I didn't appreciate the bus…I was on the bus looking out the window and saw people my age, wearing the same kicks and fitteds as me driving luxury cars! So in my mind im thinking damn…he got that…I need that!! So I went to the car lot…this time I was getting that new thing! The one with the leather seats and chrome wheels that nobody has even test driven and if your stacks ain't right..don't even look at it…my money was right so that new "luxury car" was copped!!

So…new luxury joint copped….im loving it..the way those new leather seats that were only touched by the maker just embrace my body when I sit down. The way that new air conditioner that has only been turned on before it left the factory just "blows" so good and cools my hot body down on a warm New York summer day…it made ditching that bus all worth it! My friends dig the new whip…they could never see me on the bus again…I could never see myself getting out this whip either…let another nigga be gripped by my leather seats? I think not…im riding till the end…then I wake up one night to my alarm going off because somebody jealous and trying to steal my "luxury" evidently they got scared off because no one was there when I looked…so I went and spent some time with my "luxury car"..I let her know I'd never leave her and with me she can't lose. I knew she understood me cause when I started her up she rode like never before…we were on top of the world…there were those days I thought about when I used to ride the bus…those days I would follow the bus and see where it was going…then I'd remember…fuck that bus…been there…now I got the new shit…that shit that only I got…I treated my "luxury car" better than I knew I could…took her on drives with just me and her…bought her new mats…and even threw away the factory chromes for some bigger rims…she never knew she would have an owner this good and just waited for the day till I forgot to caress her steering wheel the right way…the first time I did…she was gone!…went to start her up and she said nothing…I tried to talk but she wasn't hearing me…left devastated…the only thing I have known to get me around is gone!…where do I go..? Each day I go out and I put the key into the ignition and I wait to hear something back…only to be ignored…my "luxury car" that I had relied on to always be there…is just not…damn…the bus never did that to me but I surely did that to the bus…karma is a bitch but I know one day my "luxury car" will be back to normal…just put her in the shop…hopefully she don't need to much work…I gotta get back on the road!

Love is crazy…I have loved…I say I wish I haven't at times…but I am grateful..one for the experience I have gotten as a "traveler" and another because I can honestly say I learned something different with every "vehicle" I "traveled" in.